noticed

Notice how a decision to have an abortion is a private matter between doctor and patient, but not a decision to take hydroxychloroquine?

Little Ryan

Little Ryan is in school one day when his teacher tells the class that she wants to hear each of them say a little about their families, and specifically what is needed in their lives.

The first student is a little girl, she stands up and says “my family is mostly happy but what we really need is a bit more money. My dad leaves for work before I am even awake and he works hard until late at night to put food on the table. Money is needed in my family, more time with my dad is needed.”

The teacher is moved, she thanks the student and moves on to the next, little Charlie stands up and says “all we are missing in my family is my older brother. He went off to fight in the war a year ago and nobody has heard from him since. My mom always waits for him by the window. My brother is desperately needed back in our family.”

The teacher is now tearing up, she thanks little Charlie and moves on to the next student, eventually making their way around the classroom with one heartfelt response after another.

Finally they come to the last student, Little Ryan. The teacher has come to expect antics from him but gives him a chance. “Little Ryan, what about you… what is something needed by your family?” Little Ryan stands up briefly and says “nothing, we have everything” and sits back down. The teacher, slightly upset, asks “Now how is that possible? Each of your classmates have shared something, how can you be so sure that your family doesn’t need a thing?”

Little Ryan stands back up and says “well I was watching TV with my parents late last night when my sister came home crying. She said DAD! Please don’t be mad at me but I am pregnant! My dad disappointingly slapped his knee and said “Damn it! That’s all we needed!”

ha ha

Deputy (Sgt) Jeff: “Let’s stop and talk to this asshole….” he then gets the frequent flyer Juvenile Delinquent apart from his buds and starts discussing his ‘behavior’ or actually his lack of it…

one of his buds steps up close and starts recording with his phone….

Deputy (Lt) (female): “Step back and let the deputy do his job”

“F*&% You!”

Lt: “Listen Soy Beta Boy, step back and put the phone away or I’m gonna shove it so far up your ass it’s gonna take a brain surgeon to remove it!”

“Yeah, you think you can make me do anything?”

Lt give K9 Shadoe, who is right in front of SBB with her head at guy’s knees, the growl sign….”GGGGRRRRRRRR!!!” Soy Beta Boy proceeds to pee his pants and runs back to the curb, his phone is no where to be seen…

Deputy Jeff finishes his one sided discussion with the Juvenile Delinquent and walks over to the Soy Beta Boy, “Why are your khaki shorts dark brown down the center, they weren’t that way when we rolled up?” SBB nostrils are flaring, eyes squinting, hand and arms shaking, knees knocking but he remains silent…Deputy Jeff just chuckles and heads over to his car…Good Job Lt and K9 Shadoe!

gotta love K9s trained with hand signals 😉

participation trophy generation shows itself again…bet the video SBB buddies on the curb took never makes it Fakebook or Snoopchump or Instagrub or anywhere else, it would go viral quickly if it did!

K9 Shadoe is the quietest (and smallest Shepard) K9 I have ever been around, but is also one of the best at her job…Deputy (Sgt) Mutt

K9 Shadoe’s best moment was when guy running away from cops jumped in the water and swam under the pier, Shadoe ran around the front of a boat, jumped in and swam up behind guy and then grabbed him, dork started screaming “SHARK SHARK, I’m being attacked by a shark!!” Deputies pulled dork from water with Shadoe still hanging on (she is trained not to let go until perp is handcuffed) and let fire-rescue treat his shark dog bites…

a female police dog??? that Lt certainly has a way with words. Kousin Kipper

yes, Shadoe is a female, you’re correct in that most K9’s are male. K9 Shadoe is actually Deputy Jeff’s partner, not the Lt’s…and in their department the furr-legged always out ranks the two legged partner.

y’all need to start to  kit up with hankies and lollipops …T-man

and Pampers..Rusty

no, people need to start acting like civilized human beings…rosko

OOPS

4 buses of protesters were Hauled into Ada , OK.
Were met by 600 armed Americans so protesters left. Anyone see this on the news?

pins

After an extremely tense argument with my girlfriend, the house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
Things got a lot worse when I saw the grenade fly towards me.

kids

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad’. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.

I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing’s, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!

old folks

An elderly man thinks his wife is losing her hearing so he calls their doctor.
The doctor tells him “We need to figure out how bad her hearing is. Using a normal tone, talk to her at various distances until she can hear you.”

That night the man decides to try this. He estimates he is sitting about 30 feet from his wife and asks her, “What’s for dinner?”

He hears nothing so he moves a little closer; about 20 feet away. He asks her again, “What’s for dinner?” Still nothing.

Finally, he gets right next to her and asks, “What’s for dinner?”

She finally hears him and responds “For the third time, chicken!”