brotherly caring

Jeff to Mutt: “So, why did you decide to buy a camper and keep it over here?” (here being LilRyan’s farm)

LilRyan (brother-in-law to Mutt): “Because he thinks he still a newlywed and he’s afraid I’ll know WHEN HE WANTS TO GET FRISKY WITH MY SISTER!

LilRy’s been hanging around Meko to much….Marcia

they are two peas in the same pod when it comes to hilarious quick witted lines.

oh no

Teacher came to Jack’s desk
-You had the same answers in your test as Stan. So you must have cheated.

-How do you know that Stan didn’t look at my answers? Jack defended himself.

-Stan had written “I don’t know” and you had written “I don’t know either”…

schooling

In class, a teacher asked her students what was something good that they did today

The first kid says “I gave money to a homeless man”

The second kid says “I helped my mom with the chores”

The third kid says “I helped an old lady cross the street”

The teacher was very impressed and had high hopes for the fourth kid

The fourth kid then says “I prevented a murder” The teacher amazed, asked the kid how He replies with “Self Control”

the zoo

A mime is working at a zoo…
One day, the head zookeeper pulls him aside to chat. He says, “Bobo, our silverback gorilla, the star attraction here at the zoo, has died. We don’t want to lose the revenue, so we want to hire you to dress up in a gorilla suit and pretend to be Bobo. We’ll pay you triple what you’re making now.”

The mime agrees and starts the next day. At first it’s fine, and he enjoys being Bobo. But after a couple weeks of doing the same thing every day he’s a bit bored. So he decides to give the audience a real show. He climbs to the very top of his enclosure and swings around, pounding his chest, and the crowd is loving it. Just then, he slips and topples over the fence into the next enclosure, which is the lion’s pen.

The lion starts to go after him, and at first the mime keeps up the shtick, running away like a gorilla. But as the lion gets closer he gives up and just runs as fast as he can. Finally the lion leaps on him and pins him down. Now he gives up on the whole bit and starts yelling, “Help! Help! I’m a person in here! Call the zookeepers! HELP!!!!”

And the lion goes, “Dude, you’re gonna get us fired.”

gotcha

Mandy: “I remember Dad rebuilding that truck when I was a girl.”

LilRy: “YOU GOT A SEX CHANGE?”

Mandy: “What?”

LilRy: “When I WAS a girl would imply your something other than a girl, now, so you got a sex change?!”

Mandy: “No, it’s because I’m a WOMAN now, you moronic idiot!!!”

LilRy: “I’m only basing my thoughts on the current leftist ultra-liberal indoctrination that’s called public education these days, aren’t you so glad I’m being home schooled now?”

cancel culture thought

Cancel Culture is an odd combo of modern day Segregation and Electronic Book Burning. Shun and oust anybody not like you… Eradicate ideologues you disagree with from from Internet, TV, Social Media. Did I mention these actions are from the “party of tolerance and open-mindedness”?